Finding Love??08:41 Jul 08 2010
Times Read: 474
I haven't been on here for quite awhile unitl recently. And I realized how theraputic this site really is! =) People actually listen and understand! The people in my life are quite main stream, you could say! LOL This is where I wonder, it's actually going on 3 yrs now my boyfriend has passed away and I can't believe I still haven't found love again, or anyone I am even really attracted to! This is so wierd for me, because, lets just say in the past before my boyfriend who passed, I have "never" had a problem finding someone. Or it seemed someone always was waiting to be there. LOL Maybe I am letting off a different era now since he died. Have you ever felt like you just won't find that person you have put in your head you want. I think maybe I want this fantasy person! Someone who has a light side, but someone who has a very dark side and can take over me occassionally! LOL That button in me, just can't seemed to get sparked by anyone for the last 3 years! And finally after 3 yrs, I am thinking maybe it's lonely. LOL I have been so focused on me and going back to school and done with meaningless relationships looking for the right one, that I have actually stayed alone since he passed (3 yrs, as I keep saying). I am not sure if anyone can even relate to what I am saying, but I love to just write my thoughts and then I can make sense of what is actually happening. =) But it seems I can keep writing on this subject and I am never going to figure out the answer on this one. I am hoping I will just wake up some day and my "Dark Prince" will be standing in front of me, telling me he's been watching me, and just waiting for the right time. Then he can finally take me under his dark wing into the ecstasy of the darkness and make me feel safe again! Then finally maybe that void will be filled! Because I certainally haven't let anybody in, and almost felt like the ones trying to get in were not worthy, I could feel the wrong kind of evil in them, I am good (normally) at judging the wrong kind of peoplle, sometimes a little too late, but I usually have the feeling. To me there is a good evil and the evil that is out to hurt you. Anyways, thanks for reading again! Wish me luck to find that dark prince of mine! MUUUUAAWWWWWW!! After 3 years, I think my man would say move on huh?!! Well let's find that person that is good living in this world, but behind closed doors is just like my dark prince! (SMILES)! Til the next time, loves to all!! ;)
COMMENTS
-
Unseen
02:08 Jul 11 2010
I so know what you mean. it's only been a short time for me being alone, can't even immagine what your your feeling. But I get it. I can't even fathom finding someone new. So sorry for your loss sweetie.